


When we were young

by louis_pip



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Bottom Kozume Kenma, Everyone Needs A Hug, Hinata Shouyou & Kozume Kenma Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Summaries, Kozume Kenma is Bad at Feelings, Kozume Kenma is So Done, Kuroo Tetsurou is Bad at Feelings, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Mess, M/M, Miscommunication, Not Beta Read, Past Relationship(s), Please Kill Me, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sarcasm, Self-Harm, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Top Kuroo Tetsurou
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:16:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29735145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/louis_pip/pseuds/louis_pip
Summary: Kuroo and Kenma meet up again at a gathering...it’s fine, they’re friends, so why does it feel so off.Alternative descriptionKuroo fucks Kenma not knowing that Kenma didn’t want it.Sorry Kuroo is kind of out of character, we know he wouldn’t do shit like this to Kenma.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Kudos: 13





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Kuroo doesn’t actually realise what he has done because... miscommunication... anyway that’s why he acts so friendly towards Kenma afterwards. It’s pretty shitty, but it’s honest. Writing is therapeutic. Short chapters

It was a cold autumn night outside; they lay in the grass far from the hall where the others were enjoying themselves. A cold gust of wind blew over them cooling the thin layer of sweat that already coated their skin. It had been approximately two hours since they had started talking, one hour since they had left the others, and five minutes since he had started to feel off about him. They’d known each other for years before so being this close to him was natural...but a lot had changed in the few months that they hadn’t talked. “Have you...been working out or something kitten.?” He pinned the younger male to the ground before capturing his wrists holding them above his head in one of his massive hands. “N-no... why?” He squirmed underneath him slowly trying to get free. “I don’t know you just look different from here.” He ran a hand up underneath shirt feathering over his ribs. “Weird...” The taller male quickly moved his hand to undo the first few buttons of the blond’s shirt. “What are y-ah~” He squeezed his eyes shut arching as the older male slowly ground against him.

  
“You haven’t changed, have you?” His breathing quickened, he felt like he was suffocating. “K-Kuroo st-please~” He smirked at him unbuckling the younger male’s belt, Kenma’s vision started to blur his head became fuzzy. He couldn’t feel anything...he wasn’t really there anymore.

  
After what felt like less than a minute his vision started to clear, his heart rate slowed. His whole body felt dirty, the smell of sweat assaulted his nose. “-nma? Kenma?” A soft hand cradled his face, a softer more concerned pair of eyes gazed down at him. He hummed in reply. “Are you crying?” The blond shook his head before he turned away from him lying on his side wrapping his arms around himself. “Did I hurt you? Are you okay?” He placed a hand on his shoulder turning him to face him. Kenma sat up pulling up his jeans and re buttoning his shirt. “I’m fine. Just tired.” He tried to stand up but his back was killing him, why did it have to be him. Kuroo jumped up helping Kenma stand. Bad idea. Liquid seeped down his leg probably staining his clothes. They walked back to the hall together in silence. When they finally got to the door Kuroo took time to inspect his face in the light. The young man’s eyes were red, his lip quivering with every loud gulp. “How are you getting home?” Kenma rolled his eyes, guess he hasn’t changed. “Shouyo.” He nodded opening the door, Kenma stayed in place taking a couple of deep breaths. Kuroo frowned, something was wrong. He decided to leave Kenma outside until he found the smaller boy.

  
“Kuroo? I didn’t know you would be here, where’s Kenma?”  
“He wants to go home.” Hinata nodded. “Understandable.” They headed out to meet him again.  
“You have my number if you want to talk right?” Kenma nodded, Kuroo pulled him into a before watching him walk with the small red head down the street.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma attempts to come to terms with what happened...it was someone close to him...someone he loved more than anyone else on earth...so why did it feel so wrong?

It was late by the time they reached the bus stop. Kenma shifted uncomfortably as they waited for it to arrive. The wetness had started to dry sticking his skin to his jeans. Five minutes into the bus ride Hinata finally broke the silence. “Kenma.” He hummed in response. “You’re being weird did something happen?” He stopped tapping. “What do you mean?” Hinata rolled his eyes. “What happened between you and Kuroo? You were gone for hours, and now you look like you’ve pissed yourself.” Kenma went back to his phone. “We just talked.”

  
“Just talked?” Kenma closed his phone. “Can we leave it until we get back to the apartment? Because honestly I don’t know what happened either.” The younger boy quirked his head to one side. “I don’t know Kenma can we? What did you do? What did he do? Please just tell me!” Kenma opened his phone again putting in a pair of earbuds before turning to face the window. Hinata went to speak again irritated now more than ever. But then he saw the tears welling in his friend’s eyes, his quickened pace of breath, the reluctance to tell him what happened, the smell. It was hauntingly familiar.  
When they got off the bus Hinata took him by the hand pulling him along behind him. As soon as he locked the door he turned to the blond. “Kenma. Please tell me what happened I just want to help.” Kenma didn’t know if he needed help. Kuroo was someone he loved, someone he trusted, he wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt him it’s not like him. It was confusing as hell. They had been together in the past...that night they had been flirting...so that may have given the older man the wrong idea. So maybe it was his own fault. He should have wanted it? But he didn’t...but Kuroo didn’t know that...but he didn’t really ask either... but he was giving him all the signs that it was what he wanted...but he didn’t...maybe if he had been louder when he opposed it...  
He didn’t know.

  
Neither did Kuroo.  
How do you even begin to unpack it all? How do you approach someone afterwards...?  
“Y’know what, go and take a shower...just talk to me when you’re ready.” With that the younger man left the room. Kenma eventually went to his room grabbing a towel and something comfortable. He rushed to the bathroom closing the door behind him. Only then did he let the tears fall.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boiling hot showers  
> Stinging wounds  
> Tears  
> Confusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck it, we're making it sad...  
> well not sad just the truth...  
> which is quite sad now that I look at it...

He slid down onto the cold tiles of the bathroom floor curling in on himself. Slowly he started to let it out, his muffled sobs filled the small echoing room. By the time he dried his tears he couldn't tell how long he had been in there. He started to unbutton his shirt letting it pool on the floor beneath him. It took a minute or two for him to build up the courage to unbuckle his belt. He knew what he would see, what the high waist off his jeans hid. Countless small scars and fresh wounds littered his hips and pelvic bone, the more he looked at it, the more scars he could see. A long time ago he had started to become numb, the top layer of skin damaged and lifeless. Kuroo had seen that...he had tried to stop him when they were young but it didn't help him in the end. The former captain was one of the only reasons he had stuck around, so when he finished his third year and moved away there was nobody there to stop him...nobody to check on him.

He turned on the shower setting it to a scolding hot temperature almost too much to bear. The water trickled down his body rushing over his hips. He winced in pain as it all begun to sting. It was worth it though he thought to himself.

Eventually he got out dressing in a hoodie...Kuroo’s old hoodie. Why did he still have it? Who knows? Why did he choose it? He still didn’t know. His smell had faded months before, but the blond still kept it around. It was comfortable...that’s what he told himself and that’s what he believed. It was just another hoodie. He curled up under the covers staring at his phone screen. Did he want to message him? Did he really want him to message him or was he just being polite? They hadn’t spoken for months...and then when they finally met up again, they didn’t really speak. And now he was here.

They had known each other for so many years they’d gone through so much together. And now he was scared to send him a message. He thought himself stupid. The older of the two was probably wondering why he hadn’t messaged. He had every right to wonder as well, the younger man had left close to tears without any real explanation he was probably worried sick...

Just something simple maybe...his thumbs hovered over the screen for a second.

_From-K556: hey it’s kenma, just saying goodnight_


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo being a clueless nerd, Kenma knowing that he doesn't realize and trying to work out what to say to him. They start to talk again...progress?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that this isn't the best quality, but I hope you're kind of able to see what the message in it is.

He closed it slamming it down on the bed beside him.  
It was done he could stop worrying about it.

_bzzt_

Fucking hell.

From-T175: _Hey Kenma! Glad that you got home safely, did you enjoy tonight?_

Of course, he would use proper grammar. Well, he had read it...what else could he do.

From-K556: _yep_

Surely that would suffice. He was tired, so was Kuroo probably. He closed his eyes relaxing again, until his phone vibrated again.

From-T175: _That's great to hear! Get some rest, it's important._

Still the same Kuroo, concerned. Urging him to sleep. He always hated that, but it kept him alive.

From-K556: _you too_

From-T175: _Goodnight._

From-K556: _gn_

He placed it down carefully this time as if to stop it from vibrating again. He pulled up the covers enveloping himself completely within it. Along with the hoodie it was pretty comfortable, except for the smell of clean sheets. He never liked the way freshly washed sheets smelt. Too clean, no character. Everything that was there before just washed away. He closed his eyes nuzzling into the familiar hoodie. He couldn't hate Kuroo, that was almost impossible for him to do. Only when the dampness on the material under his cheek became apparent did he realize that he was crying again. He didn't bother wiping his eyes, he just kept them shut and tried to slow his breath again. His eyes stung; he knew it would be worse in the morning. After what felt like an eternity, his throat stopped aching from holding in the sobs. They didn't come anymore, but the tears did. By then he was completely exhausted, he finally slipped off.

.

.

.

He awoke to the dark unfamiliar room. What time was it? He rolled over to check his phone _10:53._ Hinata was probably already up, he usually woke earlier than him. After a couple of minutes, he attempted to sit up. His throat and eyes ached; a sharp pain shot up his back. With that he flopped backwards again deciding it was best to just lie there for a while longer, maybe get some more sleep. Kuroo had told him to get more of that. Kuroo. He picked up his phone again checking his messages.

From-T175: _Good morning!_

From-T175: _Are you still asleep?_

From-T175: _Remember when you used to refuse to sleep?_

From-K556: _gm_

The first message had been sent at 6am, what did the older man take him for? A machine? He closed it again before attempting to get out of bed. His back still ached, tears threatened his waterline but he wiped them before they could get any further.

From-T175: _You're awake! How are you?_

From-K556: _sore but ok, wbu?_

From-T175: _Jesus Christ, sorry. I'm good._

He smiled at the response. Slowly he made his way to his feet hobbling to the door before straightening up and heading to the kitchen.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Extremely short  
> Hinata confronts Kenma  
> CONFUSION  
> Kuroo still doesn't know what the hell is going on

As soon as he opened it the smell of coffee flooded his senses waking him up a bit. Hinata was standing next to the kettle, cup in hand as if he had been waiting for him. “Morning.” He walked past him straight to the sink. He grabbed a glass. “So…what happened last night?” Kenma frowned. “Kenma just walk me through it.” He filled up the glass before finally facing him. “There’s nothing to walk through. We went to the gathering, I talked to Kuroo, we made out, he fucked me, we came home.” Hinata placed his mug on the bench. “Why were you crying?” Kenma shrugged. “When you came back with him, you were crying.” Kenma started to fiddle with the hem of the hoodie. “I was tired.” Hinata pinched the bridge of his nose. “Why?” He let out a frustrated sigh. “Didn’t I already ‘walk you through it’? We fucked in the grass who wouldn’t be tired after that?”

“I get that but why the crying?! Did he hurt you?”

“No.”

“Did he say something?”

“No.”

“Is that his hoodie?”

“Yes.”

“Why were you crying into it last night?”

“I don’t know.”

“I swear to god Kenma.”

Silence filled the space between them for a minute. “Let me ask you this then. Did you ask for it?” Kenma opened his mouth to speak only to let out a confused high-pitched growl. Did he? Well, he didn’t explicitly say the words but…he could see why the ravenette would have just gone ahead. He wasn’t asking, just complying. So no, he didn’t ask for it. “Not exactly? I don’t know, one minute we were with you guys the next we were in the grass it’s just all a blur. Why do you want to know this shit? It doesn’t concern you.”

“Yes, it does!” His tone changed slightly, as if he was in some kind of pain. “Why the hell would Kuroo and I concern you?” His voice raised to a yell.

“Because I’ve been there.” Kenma stopped for a second. “Thank god I wasn’t physically hurt but I was like you last night when I came home.”

“Shoyo I-”

“Don’t say it. Have you talked to him since the incident?” He nodded. “Does he know about all of this?” He shook his head. “Do you want him to know?” He hesitated before shaking his head. “Not convinced by that but okay.” His phone buzzed again, he quickly opened it up. “Is it him?” He looked up at him with slightly panicked eyes. “Maybe.” Hinata reached over plucking the device from his hands.

“So, you really didn’t think to tell him anything? At all?”

“Well, I thought about it…I just didn’t decide to tell him.”

“He thinks that you’re alright Kenma.”

“You’re not alright, do I really have to say it?”

They stood in silence for a second or two before it buzzed again.


End file.
